Perspective of Moving for a Spouse

“It’s better to start over than to give up entirely.” – Kevin Ngo    |    Photos by Bonnie Rose Photography © 2013 

Can it really be March so soon?  The year seems to be moving on so quickly and everyone I know along with it.  My husband has been in his new job since the beginning of the year.  Our boys have both been in their new schools for the last fortnight (see translation: two weeks).  My social newsfeed is  filled with the busy lives and on goings of friends and acquaintances across the globe.

Our life in Bath is already proving to be my most favourite so far of our time abroad. It helps that for the first time my husband and I do not live in a tiny flat.  It is our first time with a place that beholds a staircase and a garden in the back for where the boys can play.  I really enjoy my morning tea after the boys have left for school. I look out our bay window at the view of a english quilted countryside dotted with sheep.  It is the equivalent to living in Hawaii and anticipating the next beach day. With cuppa in hand I look forward to our next country walk and the hopes of sun.

This weekend however our walk was postponed due to the sickness of one of my sons.  On top of that I have been spending quite a bit of time in the house. Sprinkle in a bit of unfruitful job searching and its been a combination for a bit of cabin fever.  Not a great place to be when you have a lot of time to think.

I have been thinking a lot recently about having to start my life over and over again.  It is easy to compare your life or circumstances to others, though not something we should ever do.  I have been guilty of this and its made me feel sorry for myself and feel like I have failed.  I started looking for motivation and was coming up empty handed.  Point in case my initial self portrat though fueled by ideas came and went with no results to which I was happy.

I found a quote this weekend which helped to turn things around. “It’s better to start over than to give up entirely.” So I started my self portrait over.  I put aside my great out of the box ideas and went for a more organic approach:  emotion and feeling.  As I was in post processing it occurred to me that this quote did more than get me out of a minor funk.  

As a military brat, as a US Air Force wife, and now as an Expat’s wife my life is constantly stopping and starting again.  We did move to Europe for me initially but we are still moving to places based on my husband’s career.  Which I love because he is doing something he loves and that makes me happy. Yet here I am starting over again and to be honest the period of transition can be a lonely place.  

Finding a new job in a new country can be challenging.  Different qualifications and job histories can be needed in one place compared to another.  For example my cosmetology license in the USA that qualifies me to be a hairstylist, make up artist, and esthetician differs from a hairstylist or beauty therapist qualification in the UK.  All the photography jobs I have found thus far require a degree, and not solely based on my body of work in portfolio, published work, and experience from Hawaii.

A transition is just that, a period between on time and another.  A challenge to get through.  If I have to start over a million times over, it is better to get up and try again than to give it all up.  I admit my failure to be self doubt and those feelings of being inadequate, insecure and overwhelmed in the mist of my CV, cover letters, and job applications.  

I am going to keep going and look positive as I continue my life in a new place.  Its one day at a time and one goal to the next. 

In the words of a little blue fish ‘Just keep swimming.’

QUESTION:  What do you find most challenging about starting over? Or what keeps you going when you are working towards a new goal?

  • The Gernand Family

    I can relate a lot to this post. Since I graduated Harding in 2004, I have moved 8 times. 8 times in 9 years. We will be moving again this summer, to make it 9 times in 9 years.

    This will probably be my most devastating move yet, as I have really developed a strong “village” if you will, here. However, as the life of a military wife has taught me, I have learned to find the positives and almost crave the change to an extent. I look forward to the forced purging a PCS brings. I like that it has made me keep our furniture simple and not collect too much “stuff.”

    I am excited to move to a new place, but it can be devastating on any career. My national speech pathology license isn’t recognized by the state of North Carolina. So I have not been able to even work “on call” here, despite being board certified. I’m hoping where we move next will be more friendly in that respect.

    • Bonnie Rose

      Thank you for taking the time to comment back. :) Wow 9 times in 9 years…yes that is definitely a military spouse. Our move to Bath was 9 for us too. I think the great part for you though is having that military community. I know each area has its pros and cons for military spouses. But hopefully in your new location you will be able to pull in your network from those resources. It can be daunting but I know you will do great things. xx

  • Katie Did What

    I just love this post, and I love those photos. You are beautiful.


    • Bonnie Rose

      Thank you for your sweet comments. Glad you enjoyed this one. x

  • Casey Martin

    really nice post. I think that defining ourselves in any relationship is hard, let alone in a new place time and time again. Thanks for sharing.

    • Bonnie Rose

      Thank you Casey for reading. It also makes me think of how those moments just make us stronger too. :) xx