An American conversing in England

lostintranslation_mericaengland I begin this post by saying I love living in England, so take what I say lightheartedly. I still enjoy my seventy minute walk from home to work, fawning over the beautiful Bath architecture and picturesque countryside. I just remember what it was like being stateside and wish I was here and now…here I am.  It is a beautiful thing to be content and happy in life.

I remember the problems of being a ‘hidden foreigner’ in America when it came to conversations with those who had never left the US of A.  I have left those behind me and after three years in England realise I still run into a problem with the American part of me here in England. I overshare. It is not so much that I overshare in a bad way, but that I love to talk and can open up to almost anyone quite easily.  It is a quality of being a Third Culture Kid (TCK) that you can find something to relate to anyone you meet and do not feel shy to start talking to someone you do not know.  I am constantly trying to reign myself in and give people the ‘cliff notes’ version in conversations. The trouble I find is that when I feel most comfortable and let my guard down, that I share and talk the most without realising it. An American Conversing in England. 

I realised this last night at play rehearsal that there is still a phrase used in England that still trips me up.

You alright?’

It is said when seeing someone you know and is similar to a ‘hello’.  The person does not actually want to know how you are doing. Not that they do not genuinely care about you. If you do take it literally and start telling them how you are exhausted from working 16 hours, running on four hours of sleep, and that you havent seen your kids in three days you are definitely over sharing.

The correct response would be something short and sweet.

“Yeah. Good to see you.”

When I first moved back to England three years ago and I would be asked ‘You alright?’ upon coming to work by coworkers I actually thought they assumed something was wrong with me.  Did I have a funny look on my face? Did I look sick? Was I late for work? It took me a few weeks of hearing it to realise the connotation of the phrase. It is simply like saying ‘hello, good to see you’.

I find myself torn from not saying much at all and coming across as tired/aloof/bored/shy/etc which in actuality I would be none of the above at that moment or from jumping at the bite when someone starts up a conversation with me and talk way too much and come across as an oversharing way too open american.  I’m hoping I’ll eventually find the middle ground.

As I have my inner turmoil of not oversharing in social situations in England I find while I hear what others say I may not ‘understand’ them.   Having tea and coffee breaks through out the day or night is a social norm here.  During one such tea break I was finishing up with making my cuppa when someone asked if the kettle was on.  Having just moments before touched the kettle, not realising it was hot I answered:

“No, but it was just boiled and is still hot. I just burned my hand.”

I had not really burned my hand but my mouth does not know when to stop talking and I can start rambling.  The person moments later made a comment about how what they had said was the English way of saying they wanted a cup. I then realised they may have said ‘Is the kettle on’ but meant ‘Can you make a me a cup of tea?’.

Which means I am still not picking up on the subtle English cues and that I am still used to the American blunt say what you mean way of conversing. I am still finding myself lost in translation.

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  • http://guntersabroad.blogspot.com/ Jamie @ Gunters Abroad

    I love “You alright?” it can confuse our American brains so easily! It makes me feel better knowing that you have lived and worked here for awhile and still have trouble….I am so hard on myself about it sometimes :)

    • http://www.bonnieroseblog.co.uk/ Bonnie Rose

      Oh it makes me feel so good to know I’m not alone. Definitely does confuse the american brains. good wording! x

      • http://freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com/ Sarah

        !!! I Margaret Post This Testimony Coz My Husband Is Back Thanks To Dr.Ukaka

        At last my happiness has been restored by a Man named Dr Ukaka ,, my name is Margaret I want every one on this site or forum to join me thank this Dr Ukaka for what he just did for me and my kids. my story goes like this I was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to Italy for a business trip where he met this prostitute who be witched he to hate me and the kids and love her only so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy for to see that other woman. so I and my kids were now so frustrated and I was just staying with my mum and I was not be treating good because my mama got married to another man when my after my daddy death so the man she got married to was not treating I and my kids well so I was so confuse and I was searching for a way to get my husband back to me and my kids so one day as I was browsing on my computer I saw a testimony about this MAN Dr Ukaka of freedomlovespell@hotmail.com shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me too so I also think of give it a try at first a was scared by when I think of what me and my kids are passing through so I contact him and he told me to stay calm for just two days that my husband shall be restored to me and to my best surprise I received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and I called Dr Ukaka and he said your problems are solved my child so this was how I get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from Dr ukaka of freedomlovespell@hotmail.com I want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to Dr ukaka and I will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him for help.website address: freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com

  • http://elegance-revisited.com TiinaL

    I once sat between an American and a Brit, translating for them… it was one of those weird, surreal moments: a Finn translating from one version of English into another… and it was even more surreal because all three of us were English teachers…. But, as English is a foreign language for me, I was the only one familiar with some of the cultural differences between Brits and Americans, as well as differences in vocabulary…

    • http://www.bonnieroseblog.co.uk/ Bonnie Rose

      oh indeed! The cultural differences between cultures can be so interesting! x

  • http://daydreamsofsummertime.blogspot.co.uk/ Sarah I

    Haha I love this. I have to say i am one of those rare english people who tends to overshare, i will ramble on about anyhing to anyone who will listen and live Americans for this reason! It is always interesting trying to navigate the subtle differences between British and Americans. It’s all good fun though!

  • http://www.diariesofanessexgirl.com/ Kate Hall

    Haha, I kind of have the opposite of this now I am living abroad! I can not stop myself from saying “you alright?” or “alright?” as a greeting and it’s met with people trying to tell me how they are! It makes me want to cringe… it’s not that I don’t care but it’s not the time for telling me how you are! Typically, I want it met you a “yeah, you?” to which I respond “yeah” even if something tragic happened… it’s just culture things I guess!

  • http://prettythingandco.com/ Madaline

    It’s so interesting to see, even in two Enlgish speaking cultures, the subtle nuances.

  • http://unlockingkiki.com/ Kaelene Spence

    I have heard from many people here in Iceland that when they have travelled to America they never know how to response when someone asks them “how are you” in the form of a greeting.

  • http://www.tothedayslikethis.com/ Sammy Dorn

    ‘You alright’ still throws me sometimes. I am a lot better at answering the question nowadays then when I first arrived in England!

  • http://www.thewanderblogger.com/ Sarah Shumate

    I loved this post, Bonnie! I don’t believe I’ll ever get used to the nuances of British English – I always take everything literally as well. I’m the worst with the porter at our building. I probably end up talking to him much more than he’d like. :)

  • http://www.foodboozeandbaggage.com/ Food Booze & Baggage

    Yes, I would totally take “are you alright” in the same sense as “how are you” :)

  • http://www.quintessentially-english.blogspot.com/ Erin @Quintessentially English

    I laughed out loud at the “you alright” question. That happened to me just the other day when someone asked me… I went into a long awkward story of why I wasn’t. WRONG response.

    Erin | Quintessentially English

  • http://mishfish13.com/ Mishfish13

    Haha, I’ve run into my fair share of English people and find it really interesting how subtle their meanings can be!

    • http://freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com/ Sarah

      !!! I Margaret Post This Testimony Coz My Husband Is Back Thanks To Dr.Ukaka

      At last my happiness has been restored by a Man named Dr Ukaka ,, my name is Margaret I want every one on this site or forum to join me thank this Dr Ukaka for what he just did for me and my kids. my story goes like this I was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to Italy for a business trip where he met this prostitute who be witched he to hate me and the kids and love her only so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy for to see that other woman. so I and my kids were now so frustrated and I was just staying with my mum and I was not be treating good because my mama got married to another man when my after my daddy death so the man she got married to was not treating I and my kids well so I was so confuse and I was searching for a way to get my husband back to me and my kids so one day as I was browsing on my computer I saw a testimony about this MAN Dr Ukaka of freedomlovespell@hotmail.com shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me too so I also think of give it a try at first a was scared by when I think of what me and my kids are passing through so I contact him and he told me to stay calm for just two days that my husband shall be restored to me and to my best surprise I received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and I called Dr Ukaka and he said your problems are solved my child so this was how I get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from Dr ukaka of freedomlovespell@hotmail.com I want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to Dr ukaka and I will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him for help.website address: freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com ..

  • http://www.alonewithmytea.blogspot.com Julie

    I wouldn’t have known about the tea thing and would have reacted just as you did!

  • http://www.travel-vanberry.blogspot.com/ Van @ On the Road again

    I really find it interesting to find out about all those subtle things that characterize a language. Even though I would consider myself fluent in English, there still are certain expressions that I have to look up as I never heard them before…..must be even worse if you’re a native speaker 😉

  • http://independenttravelcats.com/ Jessica – Independent Travel C

    Yes, I would probably be interpreting the “You alright” as “How are you?” as well!

  • http://www.memyselfandatlanta.wordpress.com/ Rachel @ Me Myself and Atlanta

    I have this problem but the opposite way around being a Brit in America! I often get people telling me about their life when I say ‘Hey, how are you doing?’ when I’m actually doing my British thing and just saying hello!

  • http://englishgirlcanadianman.blogspot.ca/ Holly Nelson

    Hilarious – I hadn’t thought about the ‘is the kettle on’ phrase. I have the opposite thing too – making myself understood in Canada can be a nightmare!

  • http://thethingsiamcrazyfor.wordpress.com/ Camila

    I think that is so similar to north americans who say ‘what’s up?’ as a way to say hello…I was never good at answering that ‘um nothing’s up…’ …I’m such an awkward person!

  • Laura Rocksteady

    I still find some of the sayings here really funny, especially in Wales – they are even more bizarre than England. Great post :)

    Laura x

  • http://wheretheheartblog.blogspot.com Caity @ Where The Heart Is

    I have a friend from Northern England and everytime I talk to him he approaches me with ‘You okay??’ and I always find it so funny because I want to say ‘yea.. i’m alright? do i look like something’s wrong?’ hahaha!

  • http://themovetoamerica.wordpress.com/ Molly @ The Move to America

    As a Brit in the US, I have found this to be so true (the natural openess of the American people). I am sometimes at a loss when somebody starts telling me their health issues or family adventures when I just say hello to them … I have learned to expect it now and do not get so lost with an appropriate response!

  • http://www.justathriftygypsy.blogspot.com Katrina Elisabet

    This reminds me of when our German friends visited us last year and asked why Americans were always saying “how ya doin’?” while passing on the streets. “Why do they want to know how we’re doing?” they wondered. I had to explain it was simply a greeting, and that not every single stranger wanted to actually know how they were!

  • http://www.poisedinprint.com/ Poised In Print

    I’ve run into a lot of Europeans in Abu Dhabi and the casual sayings can be quite different. I love when they say “I want a proper meal”…instead of “I want a good meal”. :)

  • http://www.amyandthegreatworld.com/ AmyMacWorld

    You just have to laugh when you completely misunderstand a casual saying in a different country!

  • http://www.chicadeedee.com/ Dannielle @ Chicadeedee

    I laughed at the “is the kettle still on” because English people seem to have a million different ways of asking you to make them a cup of tea, without actually asking you to make them one. I still don’t get it either, and am crap at asking people if they want drinks all the time as well.

    • http://freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com/ Sarah

      !!! I Margaret Post This Testimony Coz My Husband Is Back Thanks To Dr.Ukaka

      At last my happiness has been restored by a Man named Dr Ukaka ,, my name is Margaret I want every one on this site or forum to join me thank this Dr Ukaka for what he just did for me and my kids. my story goes like this I was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to Italy for a business trip where he met this prostitute who be witched he to hate me and the kids and love her only so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy for to see that other woman. so I and my kids were now so frustrated and I was just staying with my mum and I was not be treating good because my mama got married to another man when my after my daddy death so the man she got married to was not treating I and my kids well so I was so confuse and I was searching for a way to get my husband back to me and my kids so one day as I was browsing on my computer I saw a testimony about this MAN Dr Ukaka of freedomlovespell@hotmail.com shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me too so I also think of give it a try at first a was scared by when I think of what me and my kids are passing through so I contact him and he told me to stay calm for just two days that my husband shall be restored to me and to my best surprise I received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and I called Dr Ukaka and he said your problems are solved my child so this was how I get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from Dr ukaka of freedomlovespell@hotmail.com I want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to Dr ukaka and I will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him for help.website address: freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com ,,

  • http://blog.lixhewett.com/ Lix Hewett

    I would never have known this. I don’t think anyone’s ever said either of these things to me, but I’d interpret them the same way you do. Say what you mean, people! Subtlety is overrated.

    • http://blog.lixhewett.com/ Lix Hewett

      …on second thought, maybe that’s (one of the reasons) why so many people here seem puzzled by my personality…

  • http://justinpluslauren.com/ Justin and Lauren

    Isn’t it funny how we all supposedly speak the same language, yet there are so many different ways of saying things? It must make learning English a nightmare for some people as a second language!

  • http://www.military.com/spouse/military-deployment/reintegration/returning-to-home-life-after-deployment.html Jeffrey Dowling

    Thanks to Dr Brave for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family?

    Hello to every one out here, am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me three days ago, My name is Jeffrey Dowling,i live in TEXAS,USA.and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website http://bravespellcaster.yolasite.com,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to “bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Brave for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com} , Thanks.

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  • Olivia

    This is so true about adult Third Culture Kids. We spend our time going way too deep into conversations. Especially when we’ve only just met someone! :) Also, I find, living in London myself, that the culture here is about being discrete and not asking inappropriate questions. Not saying something a bit too personal. Keeping it light, funny (the infamous British banter http://tckdating.wordpress.com/2014/06/24/english-men-its-the-banter/) and not too intense! Well, as TCKs, I think we tend to do the exact opposite. It’s hard to keep it light! Love that part about you mentioning ‘You alright?’. It happened so many times to me that I answered, only to realise later that they had no interest in finding out!

  • http://freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com/ Sarah

    !!! I Margaret Post This Testimony Coz My Husband Is Back Thanks To Dr.Ukaka

    At last my happiness has been restored by a Man named Dr Ukaka ,, my name is Margaret I want every one on this site or forum to join me thank this Dr Ukaka for what he just did for me and my kids. my story goes like this I was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to Italy for a business trip where he met this prostitute who be witched he to hate me and the kids and love her only so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy for to see that other woman. so I and my kids were now so frustrated and I was just staying with my mum and I was not be treating good because my mama got married to another man when my after my daddy death so the man she got married to was not treating I and my kids well so I was so confuse and I was searching for a way to get my husband back to me and my kids so one day as I was browsing on my computer I saw a testimony about this MAN Dr Ukaka of freedomlovespell@hotmail.com shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me too so I also think of give it a try at first a was scared by when I think of what me and my kids are passing through so I contact him and he told me to stay calm for just two days that my husband shall be restored to me and to my best surprise I received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and I called Dr Ukaka and he said your problems are solved my child so this was how I get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from Dr ukaka of freedomlovespell@hotmail.com I want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to Dr ukaka and I will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him for help.website address: freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com

  • Jessica

    Haha it is true that Americans and Brits have very different ways of communicating information – I’m English but grew up in the U.S., so I can “speak” both of them. The tea thing is very funny.

    Another thing people often don’t get is that if my mum is being very, very polite (especially at the DMV or something), she is probably actually very, very angry. :)

  • Olivia Arthur

    An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my wife back to me.. My name is Dani Santo,i live in United Kngdom,and I’m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife.so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce.she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she didn’t love me anymore.So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife.So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.{supremetemple@hotmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who didn’t call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website {supremetemple@hotmail.com},if”>{supremetemple@hotmail.comm},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to “bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr PAPAr for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again. {supremetemple@hotmail.com} or call +27799527702, Thanks..

  • lisa jerry

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