Category Archives: advise

When People Oppose and Attack You

Today is the eight day of May with the Blog Every Day in May challenge.  Feel free to join in and if you catch this anytime through out the month feel free to just jump right in.  Day 8, Wednesday: A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.


Today’s post may seem quite short in the spectrum of my normal long winded thoughts or photography heavy posts.  I honestly believe the advice I have to give can prevent a whole lot of stress, heartache, and toxicity from others into your life.  Maybe what I have to say will not benefit you personally, but someone close to you.  Whatever the case may be I hope this wisdom can heal or protect hearts of others.

Advice from Bonnie Rose:Do not let unsolicited advice or negative judgments from others affect your heart, mind, and soul.  If you care too much about the negative judgements and  toxicity of others, it will in turn make your life toxic too.  Only heartache and stress can come of it.” – Bonnie Rose (author of A Compass Rose blog)

No joke. Every time someone in my life has said something angry, negative, or mean towards me they have had something else going on in their life.  Of course at the time I will inevitably get sad, hurt, and even angry by response.  How else would you react to someone throwing unsolicited advice, negative comments, or hateful actions about you?  In retrospect looking back at the many times this has happened, every time the person throwing this toxicity into my life has been dealing with something personal in their own life.  To state it simply people like to point fingers or address the wrong in others before looking at their own life and to avoid dealing with their own problems.  

There was the friend whose parents were going through a divorce, or the friend dealing with an impending divorce in secret, or the family member going through a miscarriage  and trying to get pregnant.  Just three examples of people dealing with real and seriously life issues that have decided to throw dirt in my face, so to speak.  Real people going through real problems and then attacking someone else for whatever reason, be it true or false. To be honest I took them out of my life and focused on those that really mattered.  I only wish I knew back then what I see plainly now.  Whatever angry and toxic comments and actions they were directing at me was just them covering up and ignoring their own problems.  It is not right, it certainly is not fair, and it most definitely is not nice.  But you do not have to let the negative unsolicited advise of others affect you so deeply.  

If it happens take a moment to mediate and reflect.  Obviously if you are in real danger or there is a threat, act accordingly.  But if their attack is not all that threatening and it just involves you ignoring them, blocking them out, or removing their toxicity from your life  then do the later.  

We may not be able to control other people but you can control how you react.

Sometimes people oppose or attack your choices simply
because they are different or remind them of their own.
Don’t let it get to you, be kind and make decisions you
know are good for yourself and the world.  Question everything. 
We have to be the change we want to see in the world.
 Nirrimi Joy Firebrace Brisbane, Queensland 

Q: Have you ever noticed this to be true with people you have interacted with in your life? 
How have you dealt with the toxicity of others?
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*photographs found here either belong to Bonnie Rose of Bonnie Rose Photography © 2013 All Rights Reserved | www.bonnie-rose.co.uk