Monthly Archives: April 2013

Travel: Père Lachaise Cemetery

On my return trip to France there was one place I had marked down on my list of ‘must see places’ in Paris: Père Lachaise Cemetery. As the largest cemetery within the city of Paris it is thought to be one of the most visited cemeteries in the world. When the eternally resting occupants include Oscar Wilde, Jim Morrison, Moliere, and Chopin it is no wonder that hundreds of thousands visitors pay their respects every year. Though I named a few, many more are buried here that enriched the country of France over the past two hundred years. Edith Piaf, the popular French singer who died in 1963, was at the top of my list as my favourite ‘La Vie en Rose’ played in my head. While it only boasted about a dozen graves when it opened in 1804 it became popular as a final resting place with the first few celebrities.

Now a days it is very hard to be buried here with restrictions to having lived and died in Paris. With very few plots available the waiting list I have heard is quite long. Together with the famous Whose Who’ of France are not one but three World War I memorials. Suffice to say that you cannot walk the cobbled stone paths without feeling you are being immersed lifetimes of history, culture and life. I will say that it can be quite easy to get lost. My advice before you arrive is to research online and if you want to be really prepared bring with you a map noting the different graves you would like to see. Alongside the most famous celebrities there are also many notable people whose headstones are like art and they mark not just history but interesting stories.

That is my visit to the Père Lachaise Cemetery in Paris, France.

We actually stayed at a place via https://www.airbnb.co.uk/

which was only a short walk away and in a beautiful and quiet neighbourhood

if you are looking for a place to stay in Paris.

Have you been to this cemetery?

Would love to hear your thoughts!

Make sure to also check out the other travel posts for

Travel Tuesday with this link below:

I am linking up with ‘Travel Tuesdays’ and you should too!

* For information regarding the use of photography by Bonnie Rose and photographic services contact bonnie[at]bonnie-rose[dot]co[dot]uk

Featured today on Expatsblog

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I have exciting news for you! Today I am a featured expat on Expats blog.

The questions were asked, I answered, and you can read

the whole interview here:

Featured Expat Interview

with Blogger Bonnie Rose

An excerpt from Bonnie Rose’s featured Expat interview on www.expatsblog.com

Please head over to Expatsblog.com and view the full Featured Expat interview.

Never Have I Ever…

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With my friend from our time in Hawaii, Evette, out on the town in London

Shortly after my 29th birthday in November of 2011

I shaved the side of my head in the tiny bathroom of our flat outside Brighton, England.

I had been thinking and talking about doing it for sometime.

Fueled by the idea that I would be turning 30 in a year I took the impulse and shaved away.

If you feel to watch I highlighted the moment with a video on youtube.

I had a whole bucket list of items to do before turning 30 and some were achieved.

Others are still life dreams that I would like to do while I am alive.

Today I saw that Ashela with an A did a Never Have I Ever post.

Since I leave Sundays open for posting about anything,

this felt like a perfect time to come up with a list.

Easier said then done.

Its not that I have done everything

because I most certainly have not.

Not even close.

But now that I have put myself on the spot…

Reds and Brunette with the shaved side look in 2011 – 2012

Let me digress for a moment.

Once I shaved the side of my head I got it touched up a couple of times

by a barber in Brighton, England.

The shaved star design was my favourite.

However with my busy home life and work schedule

I finally decided it was best to just grow it out.

That and I kept thinking about how long my hair would be

in time to come if I let it grow it out then.

I believe it was March 2012 that I decided to just grow it out.

A year later and my hair is now two inches below my chin.

It may be a bit annoying to grow out.

But in the end well worth it and I am glad I did.

So now on to my ‘Never Have I Ever’.

Or the things I have yet to do

(and some may never. See item number #2)

NEVER HAVE I EVER

…been to Canada. Having not spent much time in the USA growing up, it just has become a place I’ve not yet travled too though many Americans have. Having loved the Anne of Avonlea as a child, I would love to see such beautiful scenic locations like the films pictured.

…seen the Sound of Music. My mum disliked the film and I never had an inkling to watch it. Ironic perhaps since Austria is one of my most beloved places from childhood. I cannot wait to go back with my family and could see retiring there.

…owned an iPad. I almost feel lame to add this but I now finally feel like one of the few who has not yet bought into this device at least from those who love Apple products. I love Apple products. But so far my iPhones and laptop have sufficed. There are usually other things that take higher precedence in items needed for purchase.

…been to a wine tasting. I have however been to a whiskey tasting for the Balvenie Rare craft roadshow in Los Angeles. But with a sister who is a sommelier I really need to pay more respect to the vino. Especially with having grown up in Italia.

…been to Japan. I wrote this for my husband because he got to go before finishing up his tour in Hawaii with the USAF. I have been in the airport in Japan many times with traveling to Australia, Thailand, and Cambodia. But I have yet to leave the airport and see the real Japan.

…driven in England. Or Europe for that matter. I was never old enough while we lived in Europe and to this day I have yet to get my drivers license in England. It has been about two years since I have even driven a car since moving back here.

…made a wedding cake. Which I am going to attempt to do for this August for our 10th Anniversary vow renewal. I almost made my own wedding cake ten years ago. I had a cake lady all set up whom had been referred to me by a friend at University. I met with her and she told me she did not do red velvet or fondant…two things I really wanted. A week before my wedding my father found an amazing cake shop that could help a poor bride out last minute. I love watching Cake Boss, it cannot be that hard? (famous last words…)

…been to a Zumba class. While I have tried a lot of fitness programs and classes (including step aerobics with my father as a teen) Zumba has not been one of them. I am more a Crossfit or Yoga sort of girl.

…let my boys drink soda. They may have had a sip or have been snuck some by my in laws but I do not plan on letting them have it for quite a while. If they want something fizzy they can live up to their European sides and drink S. Pellegrino. I used to be addicted to soda to the point that if the drive through of McDonalds was still open I would drive through with my kids just to get an XLG soda with no ice. After going cold turkey in England I do ont even like soda anymore. My brain lapses and I think I want one and I will buy one. But after a sip, and deeming its too sweet, I just set it aside. I’ve used this story with my boys to educate them on the issue of addiction and why starting to drink soda is probably just a bad idea.

…gotten into Fresh Prince of Bel Air nor do I know the theme song. I was at a church camp in Australia and I was the one American who could not sing a long wile all the Aussie kids knew all the words. I grew up in Europe and moved to the USA at 17. Consequently there are quite a bit of Pop Culture references for two decades in the US history of which I am not aware of nor understand. On that note I never had a favourite New Kids on the Block. I dont even know a single song.

…liked Haunted Houses. I hate being scared and I really dislike Halloween aside from the dressing up part. Which makes sense since my mum never liked Halloween and had a rule we could never be anything scary or evil. A rule I have kept in our family traditions. Somehow I have slowly started like to watch scarier programmes with my husband like Dexter. Recently we have started watching Hannibal the Following, and the Bates Motel. Still no pleasure in going to be scared at a Haunted House though. Unless its the Haunted Mansion at Disney. That ride is my favourite.

So what is on your ‘Never Have I Ever’ list? Link below!

Weekend Walks: Solsbury Hill

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If you follow my blog you know that my husband and I love living in England.

One of our favourite things to do is go on walks on the weekend.

When the weather is really wet sometimes we hide inside.

But today it was not only warm, but the sun was out along with the blue skies.

You know the amazing view I talk about seeing from our living room window?

The beautiful hills dotted with cute white sheep?

Well we finally went to the very top of it today.

We started at our church and walked up to find it is indeed Solsbury Hill.

Just like the song.

It is beautiful and I will be sharing photos of more Batheaston landscape

and of course more sheep. There were even more lamb out today.

We had a wonderful time and made it back just in time for the

Arsenal game. Ryan made homemade chips to accompany our Carlsberg.

It has been a great day with the familia.

Hope you are enjoying your weekend!

With my boys, Ronan and Maddox, on top of Solsbury Hill in Batheaston.

My husband and his wellies, a must have for our country walks.

Ryan made homemade chips to eat while we watched some Football. Go Gunners!

** Bonnie Rose on Instagram – @thebonnierose

Are you a ‘No Reply Blogger’?

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When I first started blogging in 2005 this was not an issue. The only people who commented on my blog anyways were family members. However at the start of this year when I became involved in the blogging universe I was told by another blogger that I was a “no-reply blogger”. To which I responded in my head, ‘–a what? What is that? How do I fix it?’ After a quick search on google I realized that even though I would comment a ton on all my favourite blogs, my account was not connected to my email address. What that meant was the owner of the blog could not reply to my comment. I was glad to know that my comments were not being ignored. But that sort of defeated the purpose of building a conversation and starting a relationship with another blogger.

Are you a a no-reply blogger?

I honestly had no idea I was one and I have already helped others in my same situation. But tracking down every single ‘no reply blogger’ can be time consuming. I love getting comments because I love getting to know other people. Some readers will leave the sweetest comments on my posts. I get excited and look forward to replying to their comment…only to have my heart sink.

How do you know if you are a no-reply blogger?

It is really easy. Go comment on your own blog. The email you get will either have your e-mail address or this: noreply-comment@blogger.com. Obviously if it has the later you are a ‘No-reply Blogger’. This is what I look for now before I write back nice thoughtful replies to comments, before they get lost in the blogger abyss.

What if you do not change your settings?

Its fine really and as you read further along you will see that this is more pointed towards bloggers who use blogger and not another blogger platform. However I try my best to respond back to comments on the blog where it is a ‘no-reply blogger’. I just dont know what the actuality is that the blogger will return back to that post to see if I replied, since there are no options for notifications to blog comments. I spent a lot of time reading and commenting on blogs never to hear back from the bloggers before I found out about this issue. Which is disheartening because the blogging community should be a two way street of sharing, reading, commenting, and creating dialog and friendships between people. It is why I blog.

How do you connect with your readers?

Change your email settings. It seems easy enough, however when I was trying to do this myself with having Google+, I realized you kinda have to work around the system by deactivating Google+ first. You can find all the steps below:

For Google + profiles, visit Rachel’s post and for regular blogger profiles, visit Emily’s post.

Okay but what if I use WordPress, Typepad, Tumblr, etc and not on Blogger?

If you do not blog with Blogger than there are two things you can do. One is you can make sure you have a Google+ account if only for connecting with the bloggers who do use Google+. Its security settings seem much easier for me to than the ever changing ones on Facebook. Set it up and then just have it so that other bloggers can respond back. Or actively use it. The choice is there.

Otherwise make sure to leave in your comment your email address or a link to your blog (where your email address is easy to find) so that if you comment on a blog, the blog reader can reply back easily. You can read Sandi’s experience with being a ‘no-reply blogger’ and the problem being the Blogger platform.

I hope this helps clear things up. I try to respond by email to all my comments and then go back on the blog and reply to those who are ‘no-reply bloggers’.

Cheers,

Bonnie Rose

TCK: Saying Goodbye to Friends Pt. I

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“The issue is that transition always involves loss, no matter how good the next phase will be.
Loss always engenders grief and the greater you have loved a situation or place or people,
the greater the grief.” – Ruth Van Reken

The subject of being a TCK and the loss of friendships has been a subject heavy on my heart these last few weeks. Understanding the loss a Third Culture Kid experiences is to know that the layers of loss run deep. It is not a superficial issue of just saying ‘goodbye’ but becomes a loss of identity. There is the loss of home, community, friendships, family, pets, culture, worldview, language, food, weather, expectations, etc. When you have a highly nomadic life as a TCK you lose your world over and over again every time you move. In turn with each move and each series of losses you equally cycle through stages of grief, just as you would with loss of a loved one.

It is that loss that I experienced when my parents repatriated back home to the US after serving six overseas tours with the military in Europe. It took my final year of high school in the US, followed by two and a half years at University of not understanding the full scale of the loss and grief. Then at a world missions conference I found out about TCKs, that I was one, and everything started to finally make sense. It is my experience that has fueled my need to speak out for the future generations of TCKs. There are some experiences I have now as an ATCK (Adult Third Culture Kid) that prompt my need to write and to share.

I am thirty years old and I have yet to live in one place for longer than three years at a time since birth. For the most part I have been around people who have led similar nomadic lifestyles with being a military child and later a military wife. People were constantly coming and going in and out of my life. Keeping in touch with friends when you moved twenty years ago (and back further) is quite different from today. You swapped mailing addresses and not emails. I believe I had my first email account in 1995 as junior high student while living in Germany. Ten years later in 2005 I started a myspace account and a year later in 2006 became active on Facebook. By this time I was living in the US, married with one child and one more on the way.

When I think about how social networking has impacted our lives today, it truly is remarkable how much different it used to be. I would keep mailing addresses of friends in an ‘old school’ address book. It was not strange to mail something to a friend and have the letter later returned because they had since moved on to another location. When email started becoming popular it was normal for us in the younger genrations to change our email address. Email accounts only held so much space and there were always trendy new email servers popping up. In the end remaining friends with someone from previous moves proved very challenging as a TCK. Despite sharing a completely unique experience as a TCK, once you have moved twice that friend has now shared other life experiences and has made new friends too. I came up with a colour diagram as a way to explain how moving frequently affects friendships.

Red is the current place you live in and so your friendships there are current and active. When you move from your current location on to the next location those friends move into the yellow. The new place becomes your red hot spot. You make new friendships, you see each other frequently and you know what is going on in your day to day life with those people. The friendships you made that are now in the yellow zone have some what changed intensity. While you may still keep in close contact with the selected view, many of those you will slowly over time lose contact. Since you no longer live in the same city/country/continent the likely hood of running into each other to jump start a stale friendship is slim to none. When move again the friends from the red zone now move to the yellow, those in yellow to the blue, and it is possible that those in the blue now fade into the grey. There are always exceptions and some friends can stay in certain zones or move up and down the scale depending on the work put by both parties on the friendship. Very few friendships may ever make it out of the blue zones, now that they are two times removed. Between the time that you knew anyone in that blue zone and the new zone in your current location, you have made many more friends and have experienced many more things in life that those people have no missed out on and vice versa. Again there is always a chance for friendships to keep in tact it just takes a lot more work and friendships are a two way street.

This is Pt. I, to read TCK: Saying Goodbye to Friends Pt. II click here.
For more information on Third Culture Kids, TCKs, and ATCKS.

*photograph and graphic belong to Bonnie Rose Photography © 2013 All rights reserved.
** Contact bonnie[at]bonnie-rose[dot]co[dot]uk for more information regarding photographic services.